We be Happening

It’s Friday morning. Everyone is in class for the 8 a.m. lecture simply because the lecturer is one who takes her job seriously. If you miss any of her lectures, she will not allow you to sit for the CAT. Miss your CAT and you are doomed. Otherwise, 80% of the students would just have sent the ‘nisignie’ text to those considered as ‘serious’ students.

The weekend mood hangs in the air. You are not paying attention to whatever it is that she is struggling to explain. You are not alone. 65% of the students are on their mobile phones. Some are updating apps via the strong WiFi, some are playing Asphalt 8 which can be played online. They are racing against each other since they are connected to the same WiFi network while others are busy chatting. They have even formed a WhatsApp group and are now asking each other where they will be ‘dundaing’ for the weekend.

The time is 9:03 a.m. Time seems to be going by slowly. It feels as if the class has been on for 6 straight hours. Of interest is one back bencher who is dead asleep and is snoring. Suddenly, the room is silent and the only audible sound is his snore. Everyone bursts into laughter but the lecturer is unimpressed. Her eyes display fury but she is trying as much as possible to conceal the burning anger.

The guy wakes up amidst the laughter. The lecturer looks at him trying to keep her cool and says ‘I know it is a Friday and I know the mood around here. I have taught for the last 16 years and never have I seen such uncouth behavior………….’ She continues but no one seems to give an ear to whatever she is saying. ‘ After all, you are all adults and at the end of the day, I will receive my FULL salary…’ This last statement seem to have caused a degree of guilt. Everyone is now quiet.

She continues covering the course outline. ‘And now for your assignment, go and read chapter 3. When we meet next week, I will point out someone at random to present on the same.’ She walks out and the sound of seats being dragged renders the hall. Students are now gathering in their squads making plans for the weekend. Some are bidding each other farewell. Hugs everywhere and occasional pecks. Others are making travel plans to go spend the weekend with their parents. The most audible phrases are ‘Tuonane Monday’ and ‘Tuonane jioni’

‘Let’s go first have some few shots then meet at our usual place at 7.’ your squad leader declares. You follow him and he buys the seven of you 2 shots of vodka each. He disappears to a P.S. shop. You get back to your place of aboard and decide to do some general cleaning as you wait for 7p.m.

7 p.m. is here. Your squad leaders is calling. ‘ 2 minutes’ you answer. Before you leave, you carefully fold a 1,000 shillings note and stuff it in your socks, shoe, bra or other place that you consider as ‘safe.’ 20 minutes later, you get to the meeting point. You are late. Your buddies have already drowned a ‘tower’ of keg. Two glasses of keg are brought for you. You drain them hastily. You left in so much of a hurry that you did not eat anything. Luckily, your friends had already ordered for nyama Choma and ugali. You all attack your meal and within minutes, some are licking their fingers.

You are reminded to forward your monetary contribution to your de facto treasurer. She was ‘appointed’ to this position owing to her discipline. She doesn’t drink much and looks out for everyone whenever you all get drunk. Her name is Megan but you all have nicknamed her ‘Mum’. At times you refer to her as Meg. She is also the one charged with the responsibility of taking care of your phones whenever you have had one too many. You send the money to her via mobile money. You are so much used to this that you have her number at your fingertips.

You drain two more towers of keg after the meal. Some are now interacting while others are dancing. Meg keeps a hawk eye on everyone. Your leader now gathers you all and says that it is time to leave that pub to go to the next one. Meg orders two cabs. Within minutes, you get to destination number 2. She pays for the cabs.

At the entrance, there is a security check and one of you is denied entry. The squad leader intervenes, has a small chitchat with the bouncer and everyone is allowed to enter. You get a good table and settle down. ‘Tabby!’ Someone calls out from the other end of the pub. Tabby is one of your squad members. The person who shouted her name comes over to your table. His name is Jeff and he is the loudest person in your class. Unknown to you is the fact that he has been crushing on Tabby for a long time. To impress her, he buys your whole squad two ‘mzingas’

You partake of the free drinks availed to you thanks to Tabby. Its now 11p.m. and you all decide to storm the dance floor. Meg declines the offer and says that she will just chill at the table. You leave your phones and other valuables with her. The DJ is playing fire tracks back to back to which you sing along.

While you are at the dance floor, someone taps you. Its one of your ever quiet classmates. You are taken aback since you never imagined that you would ever find them in such a place. Strange excitement fills you. The ethanol in your brain is giving you strange ideas. You immediately strike a conversation with this ever quiet classmate and end up dancing together provocatively. You are both humming ‘mi hupenda napenda…’ As you are still dancing, you realize that the dance floor is filled with familiar faces. For a moment, you tend to think that there was a scheduled lecture at the club because you can spot about 3/4 of your classmates.

You are so absorbed into your dance that you fail to notice that one of your squad mate Mike has already blacked out. Megan drags him to the table and tries to give him some water. Soon he wakes up and is fighting with the bouncer. The bouncer gives him a blow that sends him to the ground wriggling in pain. You now intervene as this has caused a scene.

Mike is chased out of the club. Your squad motto is All for one and one for all. This means that you all have to leave. You were having a good time and now start blaming Mike telling him to know his alcoholic limit. Megan who is the voice of reason within the group calms the situation and buys you a bite from the vendor outside. You sit on a stone pondering where to head to.

Mike still in his drunk state says ‘ Twendeni 18’ he says. You try to shut him up but most of the members agree with his suggestion. You now head to this place nicknamed 18. You are all staggering except for Meg. You are so angry at Mike that you are not talking to him mainly because you were really having the time of your life dancing with this ever quiet classmate.

This place you call 18 is a walking distance from where you are. In a few minutes, you arrive there and get in without any hitches. The place is packed but you are lucky to find a good table. The drinks are so damn expensive plus Mike has already tampered with your party mood. Meg orders a popular drink whose price is equivalent to 3 ordinary 750ml drinks. You are not as active as you were in the previous pub. Mike’s incident has ruined your whole mood. This irritation makes you feel as if you are taking water instead of beer.

While still in your grumpy mood, something interests you. Its a shots challenge. You hesitantly join in with the hope that it will cheer you up and true to it, you find that you got more than you bargained for as you become so hyperactive that one would be forgiven to think that you ingested some ecstasy. You win the shots challenge but immediately throw up.

Its 5 a.m. and everyone is tired. Meg orders 2 cabs and you all crush at one of your squad members place. 1 p.m. is when everyone lazily wakes up. You all prepare lunch, partake of it and everyone goes back to their abode. While undressing to take a shower, you realize that you still have the Kshs. 1,000/- note that you had safely hidden and mutter to yourself, ‘ Parte after parte…..’

What a night!!!

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